Mr Potato Head to lose his bits

Toy company Hasbro is introducing a new gender neutral addition to the range of Mr and Mrs Potato Head toys.

Like any self-respecting corporation in today’s society, Hasbro is sensitive to the needs of a tiny minority of gender-identity campaigners and has decided to add a neutral inoffensive spud to its line-up. “It” will be known simply as Potato Head. The brand name will also lose “Mr”.  

Hasbro representative, Kimberley Boyd said the company’s Potato Head toys are used by children to make families. The change in the variety of toys with interchangeable appendages, footwear and novelty moustaches will offer a blank slate.  

“Kids like dressing up the toy, then playing out scenarios from their life,” Boyd added. “This often takes the form of creating little potato families, because they’re learning what it means to be in a family.”

“Culture has evolved. Kids want to be able to represent their own experiences. The way the brand currently exists – with the ‘Mr’ and ‘Mrs’ – is limiting when it comes to both gender identity and family structure.”

Getting angry for the ever-shrinking world of common sense over Twitter was Piers Morgan.

“Imagine thinking in the middle of a global pandemic: ‘what’s really important is dropping the ‘Mr’ from Mr Potato Head & making him gender-neutral in case we upset a few wokies.’”

He later posted: “Who was actually offended by Mr Potato Head being male? I want names. These woke imbeciles are destroying the world.”

Hasbro scrambled to put up a social media post clarifying that the existing male and female potatoes would stick around after fans feared all the Potato Head toys would be gender neutral.

Hasbro tweeted: “Hold that Tot – your main spud, MR. POTATO HEAD isn’t going anywhere! While it was announced today that the POTATO HEAD brand name & logo are dropping the ‘MR.’ I yam proud to confirm that MR. & MRS. POTATO HEAD aren’t going anywhere and will remain MR. & MRS. POTATO HEAD.”

Mr Potato Head has been around for 70 years. He got his first transition in 1995 when he became digital, starring as himself in ground-breaking computer-animated film, Toy Story.

Memorably in one of the film’s early scenes, the wisecracking bowler-hatted plastic potato wishes for a Mrs Potato Head companion. The character’s dream finally comes true just before the closing credits.